Skip to site navigation

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the group's purpose and function? What activities does it engage in?

CGM is a peer support and social group. This means that you should expect to gather in a circle at 7:30 and engage in the discussion to whatever level you are comfortable. During introductions you will be asked to introduce yourself and tell us about your prior week, but you are welcome to pass. Discussion topics may follow a theme over several weeks, or may be based on current events, or may be brought in by a member who's seeking personal support. For those who have something to discuss but are daunted by a large group setting, we periodically have "mini-group" nights where the larger group is divided into smaller groups, each operating independently. On occasion, Friday night support will come in a more relaxed form, such as an interactive activity or movie night, but these will occur only when it has been established that no one has come seeking personal support.

Once a month, a member will open his house for a potluck brunch or supper; these are separate from the Friday night meetings, yet are themselves supportive in the way they provide a setting for gay men to interact socially. Interactive activities (also separate from the Friday meetings) include the Seacoast Gay Men Annual Cruise, the New Hampshire Gay Men's Chorus (they perform in the same building in which we meet), and other local events. These activities provide an opportunity to get to know other gay organizations and interact with their members. On the second Tuesday of each month, CGM's Reading Group meets at Border's in Concord to discuss the month's selection, which is usually a gay-related book. In short, we provide many facets of support.

What are your rules of inclusion?

This is Capital Gay Men. Although we require you to be male or transgendered, we do not require you to identify as gay, bisexual, or questioning. Unless inclusion becomes an issue in the future, for now our general policy is, "if you're comfortable being here with us, we welcome you."

Is it only for men who are out of the closet?

No. The degree of "outness" among our members varies a lot. So too, does the degree of "campiness". Member testimonials (from men all along the outness spectrum) indicate consistently high praise for the comfortable environment provided at the meetings. Our hope is to keep it that way!

Is this group for activists?

Activists are welcome, but the group is not an activist group. We do occasionally discuss politics, and we recognize that we are in a position to become leaders in the gay community, but this has never been our focus. Our main goal is to provide support by fostering a safe and comfortable environment for gay men to meet, listen to and/or participate in discussion, and hopefully, make new friendships.

What's it like at CGM?

Come to a meeting! Long-time members will likely spot you as a new person and say hello to welcome you to our group. Our hope is that you will quickly feel at home.

Will it cost me anything to become a member or attend a meeting?

There is a no charge to become a member, and membership is optional. You can join by attending a Friday meeting and filling out a membership form (If you don't see the form, ask around for one). As a member you'll be entitled to a few member benefits, like access to our member contact list, newsletter, and members-only pages on our website. Naturally, we assume that you don't want your contact info shared unless you request to be added to our contact list, and even then, you get to choose what info is shared and what stays hidden.

There are certain expenses that we must meet to remain a viable group, such as paying a monthly rental fee for the meeting room space at the church, defraying costs associated with publishing a newsletter, holding a potluck at a member's house, etc. For those members who do wish to make a contribution, we pass a collection basket around the room at the start of the meeting. We don't request any particular amount, and you are under no obligation to contribute, but thanks very much if you do.

What kind of support services are offered?

Support comes in many forms, but professional therapy is not among them. We are a group of peers who listen, empathize, and share our experiences. It has been very helpful for some, particularly when it comes to wanting to talk to somebody about gay issues. It can be therapeutic, but keep in mind that it is not professional therapy.

Where does the group meet?

The Wesley United Methodist Church is located at 79 Clinton Street, Concord. Click here for a map.

Who can I contact if I have a question?

If you have any questions about CGM, please feel free to contact us via any of the methods listed on the contact page.

Link verify request

Broken Link?

If you find a broken link, . Thank you.